Articles

When Two Become Three!

Submitted by jane on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 16:54

When you first begin to tell friends and family about your happy news there are undoubtedly some expectant Moms and Dads who utter the words "We're having a baby but it won't change our lives!".

A new baby inevitably brings change and for most new parents the change is for the best. Yes, of course most of us would prefer not to endure the tortures of sleep deprivation, but at the other extreme you experience a whole new set of heightened emotions you never knew existed. The feeling of instant, intense and overwhelming love the minute you are introduced to your new baby is something I am still amazed by to this day. This overwhelming sense of love you feel when you stare lovingly at your new baby can often send you into spontaneous floods of tears.

Being a parent is both amazing and challenging. During those first few weeks the whole rainbow of emotions is experienced by both you and your partner. Remember, you have just gone from Partners to Parents and this new relationship for all of you will take some adjusting to. As a Mom and Dad you both have new roles and responsibilities to fulfil. For a new Mom the transition to motherhood for most is likely to be huge. You have a new baby to care for 24/7 with no instruction manual. You are expected to learn on the job and undergo this steep learning curve whilst suffering the effects of sleep deprivation and coping with the physical changes in your body after birth! The average age of a first time Mom is approximately 30 and most come to motherhood having had a career and work responsibilities. Finding themselves in the home 24/7 for the first few weeks can often prove very challenging for some women.

For a new Dad, the transition to parenthood is not as huge. After a few days at home with their new baby, they, as the breadwinner (for now!) go back to work. They get up, have their shower, go to work and still get their lunch break. The notorious difference in a new Dad's day comes on his return home from work. On returning home he may be greeted by weeping, stressed out Mom or else a tired, exhausted Mom who thrusts the baby into his arms as soon as he walks through the door!

To cope with these challenging times, it is vital for all parties to keep the communication line open. Relationships often become strained because of a lack of communication. The new Mom constantly gets annoyed with their partner since they feel they don't understand what their new home life entails. They are at home, often with a screaming baby, sleep deprived and with little adult company trying to master their new role. Dad comes home and wonders why their partner seems exhausted as they think they have been drinking lattes all day!

A new baby inevitably puts a strain on parental relationships. However, if couples can find at least 10 minutes a day to check in with each other as adults and as an adult couple ask how their day has been it may help keep the communication line open as all parties adjust to their new life. During this adult time there is only one rule: no baby talk. It is the time for the two of you to ask how you are and to reassure one another you can overcome any challenges because you are together.

Let's not kid ourselves, coping with a newborn baby is hard work for all involved, but if the lines of communication are kept open between parties there is a good chance you will embrace and enjoy your new parenting roles and still be able to enjoy one another's company long after your children have left home!

 

Baby Names - How to Choose?

Submitted by jane on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 15:54

Choosing a baby name is a very personal and precious undertaking for new parents. It's amazing how the mere mention of a name conjures up an image.

It might be memories from the first boy you ever kissed, the boss from hell in your first job or the name of your first school friend. Names have so many different meanings for different people and it's impossible to please everyone with your baby name choice.

To avoid enticing unwanted opinions on your shortlist of baby names it would be wise to keep them a closely guarded secret. Any name a Mom-to-be suggests before the birth of a baby is sure to conjure up an image with someone. "No, you can't possibly call them Smedley. I once worked for a guy with that name and he was such a chauvanist, he had no respect at all for women! I remember being 8 months pregnant with my first born, when my best friend called me up and told me the happy news she was 3 months pregnant. I was delighted to hear her news but I was not so happy when she insisted on telling me the baby names they had chosen. I didn't want to know them. My baby was going to be the first one to be born and what if, on the off chance we had chosen the same names! She could have accused me of stealing her baby name even though I had already chosen it all on my own! Thankfully, our baby name choices were different so it all worked out well. There is no doubt all kinds of emotions surface when choosing a baby name which is strange because really choosing a baby name is supposed to be an enjoyable expoerience and the naming of your baby marks the start of your important journey into parenthood.

There are many factors to consider when choosing a baby name. Do you want your baby to have a traditional name such as Elizabeth, which has stood the test of time or are you considering a more modern name such as Evie which is emerging up through the baby name rankings? Is your preference for a popular name such as Emma or are you wanting to stand out from the crowd by choosing a more unusual baby name such as Ellianna? There are many books and websites which list an array of baby names and meanings for you to consider. Whilst it is a time consuming exercise to read through all the names and meanings it is often an enjoyable one which conjures up many images as you read through the names. Research shows Moms-to-be spend more time on the internet researching baby girl names than baby boy names.

Baby names and their meanings often have social, historical or biblical connotations. Parents-to-be also have to consider if a family tradition is going to be continued or whether they would prefer a name which suits the current trends. The majority of baby names are undoubtedly religious inspired such as Matthew or John, but other name categories becoming more popular take their inspiration from precious stones, such as Jade or flowers, such as Lily.

Whatever baby name you choose and however long it takes you to finally agree on a baby name, you will choose one which is right for you and your baby. Whatever opinions were expressed by friends and family during your pregnancy will fade into insignificance as loved ones cuddle and caress your new baby.